How to make red velvet cupcakes out of Rainbow Dash
(No Rainbow Dashes were harmed in the making of these cupcakes)
This is a guide on how to make cupcakes that I think cupcakes made from pony flesh would look like. That is to say the cake itself is red, and the frosting is light blue, but not from pony hide or guts, from food coloring!! These can be made from scratch, and as such, do not have to be red if you are squeamish, but that is just the convention (though convention is with white frosting, not blue, and red sugar sprinkles, not rainbow, but shh!).
These are really yummy tasting and I recommend you make these, nao! This can also be used for a full on cake once you have the batter and frosting, but these instructions end in cupcakes, so sweet and tasty! This is also written for people who don't know baking very well, like me (even though I am somehow good at it). I also add some humor, so if you don't like that, why are you watching My Little Pony?
This is my cousin Susan's recipe, so give her all the credit if you see her!
Also, if you decide to make them, please tell me how you like them. Mayhaps even take some pictures with Pinkamena and your cupcakes?
Okay on to the baking:
Ingredients for the cake:
2 and 1/2 cups self rising flour
1 cup buttermilk
1 and 1/2 cups crisco oil or wesson oil (brand named)
2 cups sugar
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoon cocoa powder (chocolate powder, like hot chocolate mix, but I think better ingredients make for better cake)
1 teaspoon vinegar ( I think white vinegar)
1 Oz (not the wizard) red food coloring
2 Eggs, fresh from either Fluttershy's or Applejack's chicken coup
Just as a note, the frosting is also a filling. If you are feeling fancy, you can use a syringe to inject poison, I mean frosting into the center of your cupcake from the top after they have baked and cooled down. If you do this, you can leave the color of the cake alone to be nice and off white, and mix some of the red food coloring into part of the frosting and inject that into the cupcake. Then use blue food coloring and rainbow sprinkles like normal. I you do decide to do that, pics or it didn't happen. I would love to see that!
1. Preheat your oven to 350°F
2. Cream the sugar, oil, and eggs in one bowl with "What up, Egg Beater‽‽" one of those hand held ones I recommend.
3. In a separate bowl, sift the flour, salt, soda (the kind for baking, not for drinking, Applejack!), and cocoa powder together.
4. In the first bowl, add the vinegar and food coloring to the oil and sugar and mix well.
5. Make sure to use a spatuler (with port and starboard attachments) to scrape the stuff that sticks on the side of the bowl in this step and the next step.
6. Add a quarter of the flour mix from the second bowl into the first, do not so much mix as just integrate,
7. Then add a quarter of the buttermilk into the wet ingredients and again just integrate, do not overmix, or the cake will not be as fluffy.
8. Repeat the last two steps until both the flour mix and buttermilk are completely mixed, without over mixing. You may have to practice or something to get it right.
9. This should make 24 cupcakes, so take two cupcake pans, put cupcake paper thingies in them and fill them each about half empty (or full, depending on your outlook on life), they will rise, so don't worry, brony.
10. Put into the oven at 350°F for about 20-23 min. Take them out a little early and stick a toothpick into one of them. It the toothpick is covered in a little batter on the way out, put the cupcakes back in. If the toothpick is clean, your cupcakes are ready.
11. Let them cool down, brah.
12. Once they are cooled, if you didn't color the batter (or even if you did), you can use a cooking syringe (I guess?) to inject the red frosting (instructions below) from the top of each cupcake. (Do not be afraid to mess up if you plan on doing this. Experiment, but don't go cupcakes on me if it doesn't work out)
13. Take the light blue frosting (below) and evenly coat the cupcakes on top. Make sure all of them have the same amount, or it will be unfair to your friends.
1 Stick of butter (unsalted, of course)
8 Oz Fillydelphia brand cream cheese (brand is optional, but I like this one the best for certain reasons)
1 Box confectioners sugar, about one pound (this recipe has Pinkie Pie written all over it, I know)
3-4 teaspoons of normal Fiji water, 'cause it wasn't bottled in New Jersey! (jk it can be any clean water)
1 Cup chopped nuts (optional, I didn't use them this time, and if you are allergic to nuts, you shouldn't use them either. I don't know what kind of nuts anyway.)
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1. Clean off Ms. EGG BEATA and user her to mush the butter to sort of a past or something. ( it is better to leave the butter out for a little bit to warm to room temperature.
2. Add the cream cheese (which should be kept in the fridge until nao) and the vanilla. Mix together.
3. Add all that glorious sugar and schedule another dentist appointment, then mix. Don't over mix now, ya hear?
4. You can split some to color red to be injected, but the for the rest, just add a little blue food coloring and hand mix. (sorry egg beater) You want as close to cyan as humanly possible using food coloring. ( We are looking for perfection here)
5. After you have frosted the cupcakes, add rainbow sprinkles.
6. Enjoy eating ponies, bronies!
Oh, yah, and you can make all of the mane five! Purple frosting for twilight, with red and white sprinkles; orange frosting and red sprinkles for Applejack; Original white frosting with sugar colored with a little blue food coloring as sprinkles for Rarity; and pink frosting with yellow and blue sprinkles for Pinkie Pie.
But never Yellow frosting and pink sprinkles. NEVER.
( jk, but be careful of choking on adorableness)
Make them all and show me!!!!!!
And Remember!!!!!!!! Always refrigerate these cupcakes!!!!!! They contain cream cheese, butter, and pony flesh, none of these will last long outside you fridge!!!!
inb4 cupcakes are now 20% cooler